Cassius Winston is finding his way, painful step by step, to let it go, to let if flow.
The hurt over his brother Zachary taking his life on Nov. 9 will always be with him and his family — younger brother Khy and parents Reggie and Wendi. How they move forward, letting go of the sorrow, is what matters now.
Michigan State’s All-American point guard has comfortably carried weight added each year to his shoulders while leading the Spartans, including last year’s Final Four trip, but there was no way to measure the suffocating brick wall of grief that fell on him.
Regaining normalcy is the advice Tony Dungy, the Pro Football Hall of Fame coach whose son committed suicide in 2005, has offered Michigan State coach Tom Izzo as a guide to facing a challenge with no playbook.
Izzo, saying he’s never faced a tougher task in his coaching career, wisely shielded Winston from the media after the first two games, wins at home over Binghamton and on the road at Seton Hall. But after the third game, a home victory Nov. 18 over Charleston Southern, Winston took a significant step.
He used the public-address microphone at the Breslin Center to address the crowd:
“I lost a piece of my heart, but you guys you keep me going,” he said. “I love everything about this place and I really appreciate you guys, so thank you.”
He was letting go.
The next leg on the uncharted journey was a voyage to calming waters in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Although the first day in Maui was a little choppy as Winston struggled in the loss to Virginia Tech, his mother, who had attended her first game since Zachary’s death, felt she saw part of the problem. She sent Izzo a text that night.
“Tell him to stop looking for me in the stands,” she wrote.
Let it go, let it flow.
As the Spartans left the locker room for the second game against Georgia, Winston stayed behind, letting tears flow. Izzo later described it as a “puddle” below Winston’s seat. Maybe that was the crack in the wall Winston needed. He responded with 28 points and eight assists in a 93-85 win
Afterward, Winston took another step, this time off the court. He opened up to a question from the media.
Writers covering the team daily had previously given Winston his space, especially after the Virginia Tech game when Winston, Xavier Tillman and Izzo met with the media. There were only basketball questions.
But after Winston played so well against Georgia, Detroit “News” beat writer Matt Charbeneau asked if the performance reflected he felt more like his old self. Winston not only agreed he expanded to share his emotions.
“I think I cried before the game and things like that,” he said. “Once I got out there I was able to find my rhythm, find my peace out there on the court. That was really good for me, getting up and down, just having that rhythm I usually play with. I feel like this is the first time I had it in a while.”
Letting it go.
Izzo otherwise didn’t plan to reveal what happened.
“I have something to say once they leave,” said Izzo at the dais as the player portion of the interview session ended and Winston and Aaron Henry exiting to the media room. “Guys, especially for our writers, we have gone through a couple of tough years, gone through some things that I never dreamed I would go through. And when I was going through them they told me that the facts don’t matter. The facts don’t matter sometimes in some of these things we all went through.
“Well, damn it, I’m here to tell you the facts do matter. And the fact is I had to get that kid off the bench up in the locker room. … He’s been struggling, his mother’s been struggling.”
Honolulu “Star-Advertiser” sportswriter Brian McInnis asked me to clarify what Izzo meant by “a couple of tough years.” I told them he was largely referring to the 2018 ESPN TV story that conflated convicted Michigan State/USA Gymnastics doctor Larry Nassar’s crimes with past sexual assault charges that had involved former Michigan State football and basketball players.
With one more Maui game to play, Winston opened up more after beating UCLA. I asked if other teams’ players had reached out to him over the course of the eight-team tournament.
“Every game, just about every player gives their condolences, every coach,” he said. “It’s hard. It’s something I hard to go through, but the support from all the programs and respect from everyone has been real genuine. People are showing a lot of love and support.”
Letting it go.
Maybe it was easier for Winston to accept the support since he had already proven himself a giving person. Ten months earlier he had attended the funeral of former Michigan State coach Gus Ganakas, who the players knew as a radio analyst and whom they honored with a “Gus” patch on their uniforms in their Final Four run.
The comfort Winston had provided was being reflected back to him full circle.
There are still more steps to take in this long journey, but after passing the family’s first Christmas and New Year’s Day without Zachary, Winston may have taken his biggest stride toward “normalcy” in the Jan. 5 win over Michigan. He scored 32 points with nine assists in an 87-69 victory, earning Naismith Player of the Week honors.
Nothing provides a college athlete more singular focus than facing a rival in a chase for a conference title.
“He looked more calm and aggressive,” Izzo said. “In the huddles, he was telling guys what to do.”
Izzo also labeled the performance as one of the best games ever played in the 30-year-old Breslin Center.
“It’s definitely up there in my top performances,” Winston said. “Things just felt right. On defense, offense and making plays. I just tried to help my team win.”
The reigning Big Ten Player of the Year and national player-of-the-year candidate continues to play with a broken heart, but the weight of leading the Spartans has helped balance him toward normalcy. He has found a path to enable the him to again flow with his teammates.
Letting it go.
* * *
I invite you to follow me on Twitter @shanny4055
Tom Shanahan, Author: Raye of Light http://tinyurl.com/knsqtqu
— Book on Michigan State’s leading role in the integration of college football. It explains Duffy Daugherty’s untold pioneering role and debunks myths that steered recognition away from him to Bear Bryant.
http://shanahan.report/a/the-case-for-duffy-and-medal-of-freedom
Don’t believe the myths at Duffy Daugherty’s expense about Bear Bryant’s motivation to play the 1970 USC-Alabama game or myths about the Charlie Thornhill-for-Joe Namath trade. Bear Bryant knew nothing about black talent in the South while he dragged his feet on segregation.
http://www.shanahan.report/a/forty-four-underground-railroad-legacy-facts
http://shanahan.report/a/myths-that-grew-out-of-1970-alabama-game-with-usc
Make sure you follow the All Sports Discussion Twitter account at @AllSportsDACC and please like our Facebook Page
Leave a Reply